Soon you’ll be living a new life, one without the constraints of the marriage you’ve been living in. Your life will be quite different, and that’s for the better. You need to plan what it is that you want from the divorce or legal separation, for yourself and for your children. What do you need presently? What do you want for the future?
When a marriage ends in divorce, it would be unusual if there weren’t some hard feelings. But the anger and hostility you may feel toward your spouse needs to be set aside. Your job now is to focus on what you must do for yourself and for your children. Hanging onto the baggage of angry thoughts and hurt feelings will only sap your energy and waste your time. If you’re stuck in an emotional cycle and can’t get out from under those negative thoughts and feelings, then talk to a professional divorce counselor. You’ll get help working through your initial feelings, learn techniques for keeping your cool, and be able to deal with feelings of anxiety, anger, sorrow, and hurt when they re-occur, which they probably will for some time.
Everyone has needs and wants, and dreams and aspirations. Parents hope for a better life for their children, one better than they themselves had. Now we’re talking about you and your vision for the future — it’s time to examine your needs and aspirations. What happens after the divorce depends, in part, on what happens during the divorce. Establishing your long term and short terms goals is an important and necessary step in the divorce process. Make sure you spend time goal-setting. Take this task seriously and write your thoughts down on paper. Think of your long term goals as the theme underscoring the vision you have for your future and the future of your children. Your short term goals should keep you on track with meeting your long term objectives. You need a clear vision of your future so you can implement your goals every day, that’s during the divorce and afterward. List your long term goals. Then list the short term goals that will take you where you ultimately want to be. Ask yourself: Where do you want to live? How do you want to live? Do you want career employment? When do you expect to retire? Will you send your children to college or university?
Life after divorce: You need to stay focused on your goals as you work through all of the issues raised in the divorce or legal separation. Every decision you make in the family law case should involve reflection over the goals you’ve listed.
Being successful in getting what you want from the divorce or legal separation depends greatly on your legal rights and duties. You need to be clear on your goals, but you need to be realistic about your objectives, too. Being realistic involves learning about your rights and duties, and your spouse’s rights and duties, under Arizona law. Without knowing what is legally possible, you can’t really come up with useful expectations about the results of your divorce or separation. Getting the best results possible in the divorce process requires a divorce education. Learning what is possible under the laws of this state, and by adjusting your goals within the parameters of what the law allows for you and your children, will get you to the best possible outcome. Here’s a quick example. You may want primary physical custody of your children. You may also want to limit your spouse’s visitation to one weekend a month during the school year. As reasonable as that expectation may seem, it needs to be adjusted to account for your spouse’s right to parenting time. It also needs to be adjusted to account for what is in the best interests of your children. What you think, what your spouse thinks, and what the Court decides is in the best interests of the children may be quite different. You need to understand how the law deals with issues involving child custody and parenting time before you set your expectations and goals.
We’ve designed our website specifically with your divorce needs in mind. All of the basic legal information you’ll need going forward is here for you on our website. Our goal is to deliver all the information to you in the best possible way. So that when you envision your future, and set your goals, you do so with a firm understanding of what is legally possible under Arizona law. Our website provides many tools with links to get you everything you need efficiently and with minimal legal mumbo-jumbo. That’s because we want you to comprehend the legal points quickly, so you can make good decisions in your case and for your future. We also understand that there are emotional and financial issues in every divorce as well, so we’ve provided resources on those matters too. If you need one-on-one assistance, contact us and we’ll help you with any issues that are holding you back. We also encourage you to make arrangements to session with a divorce counselor early in the proceedings. When you have time, read books about what to expect in a divorce or legal separation. Learn from others who have gone through this process themselves and who support you and understand first-hand what you are going through. And don’t be intimidated about asking your attorney for guidance either; we’re here to help you get the best possible result in your family law case. But we can’t help if we don’t know what your questions are. Email us or call us when you need help on what to do next, or where to get more information on a particular matter.