Ending a relationship and separating one family into two households is never easy. Divorce is an emotionally fraught time for all involved. However, of all the difficult aspects of a divorce, none are as distressing and frustrating as parental alienation. The idea that one parent willingly interferes with the other parent’s relationship with their child to the point of causing permanent emotional damage may seem unfathomable but it isn’t as uncommon as you might think. One Children and Youth Services study shows as many as 22 million Americans face parental alienation tactics from the other parent, and an estimated 30% of divorcing parents feel that they are the target of parental alienation from a spouse.
What Is Parental Alienation?
Both child psychologists and family courts in Arizona consider parental alienation a form of emotional abuse against a child. The court describes parental alienation as a collection of behaviors by one parent intended to cause a child to become alienated from the other parent and undermine the other parent’s authority. While children may naturally become alienated from a parent due to abuse, substance abuse, or other factors, this is different than one parent’s intentional strategy to turn a child’s emotions against the other parent to damage their relationship. They may use manipulative methods such as speaking of the other parent with unjust negativity to the child and may exaggerate or lie about the other parent’s actions, motives, and behaviors. The result of a parent’s successful parental alienation strategy is a child who rejects the other parent and becomes hostile toward them.
When a parent sets out to destroy their child’s relationship with the other parent, it’s typically for their own gain. Their objective may be one of all of the following:
- Revenge against the other parent for perceived wrongs
- To sway the court into limiting or restricting the other parent’s custody and visitation by causing their child to prefer the alienating parent and act with hostility toward the other
- To feel justified in their anger and rage toward their spouse by causing their child to share those feelings
- To satisfy their need to feel loved and valued by manipulating their children into preferring them over the other parent
- Relying on a child for emotional support by unloading their feelings of anger toward their spouse on the child
In all of the above motives for engaging in parental alienation, the parent that uses alienating strategies against the other parent puts their own needs over the needs of their children and causes emotional harm.
Types of Parental Alienation In Arizona
Parental alienation strategies can take many forms, all types of manipulation with the goal of forcing the other parent out of their children’s affections by conveying to them that the other parent is bad, dangerous, abusive, or unsafe. A parent attempting to estrange the other parent from their children may do any or all of the following:
- Make disparaging comments about the other parent directly to the child or in front of the child with the intention of the child hearing the comments
- Lie about or exaggerate the other parent’s misdeeds and behaviors
- Undermine the other parent’s authority
- Gain their children’s sympathy by making themselves out to be a victim of abuse or other wrongs
- Discourage a child from talking to the other parent or showing them signs of affection
- Restrict or interfere with the other parent’s court-ordered child custody or visitation rights
When a parent engages in parental alienation, they typically believe it will help them in a custody dispute, but in actuality, when the rejected parent presents compelling evidence of the other parent’s manipulative alienation methods, courts look disfavorably on this tactic and consider it a form of emotional abuse.
Addressing Parental Alienation
Approaching parental alienation requires legal representation by a “forceful attorney.” It’s critical to have the advice of expert witnesses such as a child psychiatrist with experience in this area and an understanding of the dynamics of intentional parental alienation. When parental alienation is effective, the child sides vehemently with the alienating parent, and the parent denies that they’ve used manipulative tactics against the other parent. In addition, the alienating parent’s attorney may encourage these behaviors if they feel that it’s a winning strategy to help their client succeed in their goals in a custody case.
To counteract parental alienation, it must first be accurately diagnosed by a professional, and a compelling case presented in court to show a judge that the other parent has engaged in manipulative behaviors to alienate the other parent and that these actions constitute emotional abuse. Addressing parental alienation effectively requires the following:
- An attorney must immediately address any false allegations of abuse against their client
- The attorney for the alienated parent must demonstrate to the court that the alienating parent’s behavior is damaging to the children and must cease
- The manipulating parent must undergo therapy by a mental health professional
- The rejected parent and their children must undergo reunification therapy
In some cases, the court removes the child from the custody of the alienating parent at least temporarily until they comply with therapy and agree to end the manipulative behaviors.
When a parent is the target of parental alienation by the other parent, they should take proactive steps to prove the other parent’s tactics such as creating a timeline of events and documenting the other parent’s actions with specific dates, times, and details. It’s also important to spend as much time with the children and gently address their fears, concerns, and misconceptions.
How Can a Family Law Attorney Help?
When an Arizona family court judge makes a child custody determination, they consider many factors including parental fitness, the nature of each parent’s relationship with the child, their daily interactions, mental health issues, and any history of abuse, addiction, or criminality. Another important consideration is each parent’s willingness to facilitate and encourage a continued close relationship between their children and the other parent. When a parent engages in parental alienation tactics, it makes it clear that they are not willing to encourage a beneficial close relationship between their children and the other parent. A judge does not look favorably upon this. Approaching parental alienation in Arizona effectively requires a strong strategy in court by a knowledgeable and experienced attorney with access to experienced mental health experts.
If you believe your children have been manipulated by an alienating parent, it’s critical to call the experienced Scottsdale custody attorneys at Stewart Law Group so we can quickly take action.